Mourning

"Sorry I missed work, I was dead for a couple of days, but I'm all better now. I brought back gifts from the afterlife."

- Liam Adams of Bughead

Colours of Mourning
Many cultures have a traditional colour of clothing that is worn when one is grieving. The wearing of these colours is one of the traditional signs that one is in mourning in many cultures, but the style and duration varies—often even between subcultures. For example, nobility of Formour—and the wealthy who wish to emulate them—are expected to wear mourning attire for up to six months following the death of a family member. These are typically stylish, covering most of the body, and no one would be so vulgar as to wear less than their finest to the funeral—many wealthy Formourians will even purchase a new outfit for the occasion. By contrast, noble Dwarves in Formour usually wear plain clothes of course cloth, although they often adopt the 'mourning blue' colour of their Human peers. Common Formourians will most certainly not want to wear work clothes—for funeral services at least—but the proper colour is considered more important than finery (the specific shade of blue is specified within The Book of the Cannon), and they might only wear a blue arm band (men) or veil (women) for the six month mourning period. A lesser duration is socially acceptable for friends and loved ones who are not immediate family members.

The typical colours, and related manners, of Midian are:

The most common colour of mourning is black. This is the traditional colour among the Heldanic Confederation, Trolls, the various people of Osterre—including all Gothic tribes, and most cultures within the Byzant Empire.

Ghouls traditionally wear black for their funeral feast (of the departed), but as they typically will wear what they scavenge from the graves above their homes, they may often be found in the funeral attire of whatever other culture that they live near on a daily basis.

The Goths wear black as a matter of course; other cultures often remark on how their clothing looks as though they are always attending a funeral. Black is also the mourning colour among the Oldeland Goths, but is reserved as a death-related colour with them, rather than the default hue of choice. Occasionally one among the Moroii and Lilitu clan Goths in Formour and Byzant will wear bright red for the funeral of one who was quite close to them.

The traditional colour associated with death among the Killian is white. Killian dress in long white robes during the funeral procession out to sea. The corpse is also wrapped in a white sheet. These white robes are only worn for the funeral proceedings—Killian get on with the business of living immediately thereafter. The colour white has such a strong death connotation among them that it is never used as a primary field colour; it is used as decorative colouration only in small quantities, such as in trim. In fact, a visitor wearing a white shirt, for example, will commonly be treated as though grieving by Killian not accustomed to the cultural differences of foreigners. It is this connection that is perhaps responsible for the rapid spread of Stryfe in the Killian Empire. The white robes that some of the acolytes of that religion wear bear a marked resemblance to the funeral robes—the inherent creepiness of this is appealing to many younger Killian.

Formourians, as stated above, wear a shade called mourning blue. This is a deep shade described in holy writ as "the colour of the stormy seas as the early sun arises."

Hobgoblins do not customarily have a traditional mourning colour. This is certainly true of those in the Farreaches and the Hobgoblin Enclave in Formour, but some Bizzannite Hobgoblins have started wearing black in accordance with local customs. Services are usually attended in battle garb, especially if the deceased is of the warrior caste among the northern tribes.

The Elves have few funerary customs, as they rarely have need to attend funeral services when living among their own people. Black, brown, or other dark, somber colours are worn at that time, along with a traditional skull mask for family or those close to the deceased—which can potentially range into the hundreds for these immortal folk. Necropolitans are rare among the Elves; funeral rites are often performed by one of the few Elves who are most familiar with their simple practices.

"Death is nothing to us, since when we are, death has not come, and when death has come, we are not."

- Epicurus

Death in the Halls of the Mountain Kings
Dwarves revere older family members almost to the point of ancestor worship. Dwarven names are always derived from a previous generation. They take 'son of' (or 's son or daughter) for their last names, or they use 'blood of' (or 's blood) if there is an influential grandparent or earlier generation. Even Dwarves who are members of the Great Clans follow this pattern, for example, 'Durin Tordinsblood of Clan Thalin'. Important or influential Dwarves are mummified and buried in a crypt with weapons, jewelry, and personal items. The greatest Dwarven Kings are sent off with small complexes of rooms for their burial chambers. Relatives—and hangers-on with enough pull—are often buried in secondary rooms of these expansive crypts. Wealthy families will typically have a large tomb where they inter their mummified dead. Some of the older and larger berserker societies have catacombs where they lay their fallen members to rest. Poorer Dwarves are not interred in a vault within their mountain homes, instead being buried alone in mounds atop the mountains and hills. Some of these mounds are in rather inaccessible locations, but most are buried in places where they can still be visited by their surviving relatives. The poorer Dwarf is, of course, buried without the signs of wealth of their better-off kin. Perhaps a single tool of their profession and some small personal effects are all that they keep in their mound. Many of these lower-class Dwarves cannot afford the expense of mummification. When their bodies decay, the mound eventually settles. On occasion, an old gravesite is disturbed when that location is inadvertently chosen to house a new occupant.

Dwarven mummies are not fashioned in a restful prone position, but are instead made to be seated, proudly looking at the works of his or her life. Dwarves of legend are seated upon a grand throne, while Dwarves of lesser stature may only have a stone to rest upon.

A more recent tradition is emerging among the Dwarves, that of double-burial or secondary burial. A Dwarf who lives outside of the Mountain Kingdoms may receive a local funeral with friends, neighbours, and nearby family, and is then transported to his or her final resting place within a family crypt. Secondary burial is also used by necessity when a tomb has been irrecoverably disturbed, or due to space needs within the Mountain Kingdoms. This new tradition has met with controversy recently with the discovery of mass-graves left from atrocities committed by the Old Empire. When the first of these was discovered, the bodies were given proper treatment and reburial once their clan had been identified. However, more recently a mass-grave containing the bodies of both Dwarves and Trolls was unearthed. The Dwarves wanted to give their deceased kinsfolk a proper interment, but the Trolls viewed that as a horrendous desecration of the graves. Regardless of the awful circumstances of death, the Trolls argued, the bodies should not be disturbed. The issue currently remains unresolved, with the bodies again covered (temporarily at least) and guarded by a group of concerned Trolls.

The Grieving Process
When someone you care about dies, that pain you feel surpasses all other. Broken jaw, burning, skinned, glass in your heel, none of these can compete with the pain of loss. They say, "Time heals all wounds." This isn't entirely true: time still leaves a jagged scar on your heart that never entirely goes away. After a while, you may forget about it for a time, but it will remind you of its presence on occasion, with that searing pain, and an ache that echoes through the years since the first shock of loss. There is nothing that I—or anyone else—can say that can make that pain lessened. Nothing.

"Inigo: "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father: prepare to die. Now, offer me money." [Slices Count Rugen's cheek] Count Rugen: "Yes." Inigo: "Power too. Promise me that." [Slices Count Rugen's other cheek] Count Rugen: "All that I have and more. Please…" Inigo: "Offer me everything I ask for." Count Rugen: "Anything you want." Inigo: "I want my father back, you son of a bitch." [Stabs and kills Count Rugen]"

- Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) and Count Rugen (Christopher Guest)

The Effects of Death: Those Left Behind
Losing someone that you care about hurts. Lots. It is a pain that never truly goes away; time may dull the ache, but it never completely subsides. Even years later, you may find yourself thinking about a loved one that has passed; tears in your eyes. The closer that you were emotionally to someone, the greater this pain of loss is. There may be lingering guilt about things that were said, or left unsaid. You may even feel guilty that you somehow could have prevented—or even somehow caused—their death. Life, as they say, does go on. Even long after someone has died, the effects of their lives may continue. Indeed the goal of many people is to extend their influence, or at least memory, beyond their own lifespans.