Board Thread:Midian Play-by-Post/@comment-24302820-20140814000706

By Gunna Backslash Em Forward-slash

Okay so yesterday was weird because there was all these Vampire types in the bar when we got back from our long long trip through a whole bunch of places my kids and their dad and my sorta-sister and her boyfriend (my boyfriend's brother) and my sister's minions that she calls her little deathlings and we went through a whole bunch of places like a place that was all just a swamp with big lizardy things with little lizardy things with too many eyes that tried to eat my babies so I eated them right back (they weren't very tasty and I didn't cook them but I bet that I could have made a pretty good meal if I had a proper kitchen or at least wood that would burn and some proper seasonings but the wood wouldn't burn [or should that be the would wooden burn?] but I ate their faces just the same because nobody tries to eat my kids without me biting them right back and I bite pretty hard) and we went to a place that was like the total opposite because it was all dust and sand and there wasn't much metal which makes sciencing up some useful inventions really hard and there wasn't much water on account of it being all desert and all but not dessert which would make it very tasty but the sort of desert where everybody is trying to kill everybody else especially people like us who were from very very far away and it was really hard because there wasn't water or metal and how can you make steam-powered defences without water or metal and it was always really hot but I don't mind the hot too much because I spend a lot of time in kitchens and forges and stuff but the Gaijin were from way up north and the Underdarks were from the humidity and lots of clouds so the sunlight wasn't kind to them but I really didn't want too much sun on my kids because little Grae is so pale and Gren is just a baby so I tried to keep them shaded and fortunately Jong is like really really big so he makes a big shade even when the sun is high in the sky like around noon but he was also wearing this really heavy metal armour and sweating a whole bunch so he hated the place more than he said especially because so many people were wanting to kill him for his armour and some of these people were even lots bigger than him but he's really tough and Runic doesn't put up with that shit so she cutted a whole bunch of people just for getting too close to us and she didn't seem to like the killing nearly as much as she usually does I mean she really really likes killing people especially with something sharp or a whole bunch of really sharp things if she's in that sort of mood but that time I don't think she got quite as much enjoyment out of it and we were like 'going through a desert on a horse with no name it felt good to be out of the rain in the desert you can remember your name (Gunna Backslash Em Forward-slash!) 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain la la la lalalala la la la la after nine days I let the horse run free 'cause the desert had turned to sea there were plants and birds and rocks and things there was sand and hills and rings the ocean is a desert with it's life underground and a perfect disguise above under the cities lies a heart made of ground but the Humans will give no love you see I've been through a desert on a horse with no name it felt good to be out of the rain in the desert you can remember your name 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain la la la lalalala la la la la and later than that place we went to a more different place that was like the total opposite of THAT place again because it was a land of ice and Dragons and big cities that looked like jewellery and they were really nice and there were people who were big and people who were kind of red and people who were big and red but they weren't Gaijins and they had a neat way of talking that made me think of Elvish but it wasn't Elvish and they had lots of Science! and they let us stay there as long as they wanted and they were nice and wanted to help me with baby Gren when she was still inside of me and I thought that that was a really good idea but Jong was getting homesick and wanted to be back with his family and I was all like "We're your family fucken" but everybody else wanted to go back to the world with two moons where Jong and Jin and the Underdarks were all from and they were all trying to convince me that this was better for the baby because of some magic bullshit but everybody knows that magic isn't real I mean everybody in the world of ice and Dragons knows this except for maybe some of the Dragons but what do they know anyway except for the part where they're Dragons and they are really smart and know a whole lot of stuff about a whole lot of stuff and the ones that I talked to were friendly and not as big as the other ones that I had seen not that I had seen lots of Dragons but the ones that I did see were really big like even bigger than Timmy or bigger than a horse and these Dragons weren't mean or scary and they liked to talk with me and some of them liked to sing and could even make music come out from somewhere somehow I don't know but it's science and it's neat and I want to find out and some of them were really sharp with lots of spines and blades and I thought that Runic would like them more because of that but I think that she prefers to be the sharp scary one in the room and I though that Jong would like that place more because of all the sports that we could watch on the magical sex box that brings motion porn right into your flat and because that would be a safe place to raise our kids but no he wanted to go back home and so we all went back out into the ice even though we were all safe and warm and had the Internet and went back to the Roost and when we got there there were all of these Vampires sitting around drinking the blood left over from all of the chickens that I kind of made okay maybe not those chickens but the chickens that came from those chickens because chickens do what rabbits do best and make more chickens they lay eggs and little baby chicks hatch out and they're all like "cheep cheep cheep" and they're so cute and tasty especially when they get bigger and have more meat on them but by that point they aren't as cute so I cook up those fuckens and make some really good barbecue chicken and I learned some new ways to make chicken and I brought back a whole bunch of adobo because that makes chicken really good and it's good with other foods that aren't chicken and I hope that I can make more but that would require lots of taste testing to find the right mixture but that's a sacrifice that I'm willing to make because chicken so the Vampires were drinking more of the chicken blood and also some cow blood because cows have a lot of it and I guess that it tastes better than chicken blood but I tasted some of it because Talania ordered some but she didn't drink it and I hate to see stuff going to waste so I finished it for her I don't think that she likes me but Banky likes her and she's been taking good care of it so there's that but even though she kind of got Banky from me when I was trapped under the basement on the stairs eating Gaijin and tentacle monsters and chickens back when I was first pregnant with Grae but I didn't know that until later and Tal took Banky and everybody thought that I was dead so they didn't come looking for me (fuckers) and she was there at the Roost that night with all of the Vampires and they were talking about going down into Infernus to meet even more Vampires but that's always a terrible idea but they were going anyway and they wanted me to show them because I had been there before since that's where I met my baby-daddy Jong and his brother Jin and their other brother and cousins but only Jong and Jin lived and there were a whole bunch of Vampires there with armour and horses and big swords I mean what sort of stupid idiot rides horses underground it's not like there's a bunch of open spaces for the horses fucken and it's really hard to jump and climb around on all the stuff on horses and you can't take horses into the small spaces but we found our way out and now these more different Vampires want to go down there and take some other people to protect them because I guess that if you are immortal then somehow the thought of dying is more scarier even though Vampires kill people to drink their blood like all the time but these fucken wanted me to go down under the city and I don't know if I trust anyone topside enough to watch the kids it's not just trusting them to keep the kids safe but I need to trust that fucken with their own safety from my kids especially Gren she's a biter like her mommy and she's really good at climbing and Grae's just big enough to wander off and get into all sorts of trouble and somebody has to stay and watch them or I have to take the kids down there with me because they want Jong and his brother and Runic to all go down there too and it's not like these badassed Vampires can take care of themselves when surrounded by other Vampires hmmm I wonder what Vampire tastes like I don't know but maybe other Vampires know and that's why they are scared of other Vampires because they know that they are delicious.  