Suicide

"A man was hanged who had cut his throat, but who had been brought back to life. They hanged him for suicide. The doctor had warned them that it was impossible to hang him as the throat would burst open and he would breathe through the aperture. They did not listen to his advice and hanged their man.

''The wound in the neck immediately opened and the man came back to life again although he was hanged. It took time to convoke the aldermen to decide the question of what was to be done. At length the aldermen assembled and bound up the neck below the wound until he died. Oh my Mary, what a crazy society and what a stupid civilization."

- Nicholas Ogarev

Suicidal Dilemma: Eros, Thanatos, Phobos, Pathos
Eros and thanatos are twinned opposite desires—love of life and desire for death. We struggle with these opposing urges our whole lives. When thanatos outweighs eros, there is the chance that life will not long continue. Phobos is fear. Pathos is the evocation of pity or sorrow, and comes from a word meaning 'suffering'. In this context we have: love of life, love of death, fear of both, and the pathetic suffering that quandary causes. It is said that if you love something set it free… This saying could be applied to this situation. If you are willing to 'give up the ghost', and it does not return to you, were you ever worthy of life? If the spirit of life returns to you at your moment of death, would it be too late? It is said that if a suicide falls from a great height and you don't hear them scream, that they were dead before they fell (perhaps from a heart-attack). The last thing that probably crosses someone's mind—other than the street—is, "Wait, I changed my mind."

"Suicide is just Darwin's way of saying 'all attention-whores out of the gene-pool.'"

- Drunk and Bitter Jesus, Ghastly Comics

Suicide Methods
Contrary to what the song says, suicide isn't painless. Each method of doing yourself in has its drawbacks.


 * Asphyxiation: 'Asphyxia' is any process that cuts off the oxygen supply to the brain. This method is most commonly called 'suffocation.' This can be via interfered breathing (such as a weight on the chest), obstruction of the airway (choking on something or an air-tight bag about the head), strangulation, smothering, lack of breathable air (great heights or exhaust fumes/smoke), and chemical prevention inside the body (such as from carbon monoxide or cyanide). All of these methods are difficult to employ, as the body's natural survival instincts are quite strong to remain breathing. Manual strangulation is impossible, since your hands will relax once you lose consciousness. Additionally, resuscitation or failure may well result in brain damage, and resuscitation methods themselves can cause broken ribs and painful bruising. Several cautionary anecdotes exist of someone who attempted to do themselves in by one of these methods, only to be alive but severely impaired—they can no longer function without assistance but all still remember that they were once normal.


 * Cutting: In all its various forms: slit wrists, sliced throat, disembowelling, falling on sword or spear, it has one major drawback—it hurts… a lot. This pain is evidenced by the not-quite-enough wounds left on both the attempted and successful wrists, called hesitation marks. If you are fortunate, you will pass out from the sight of your own blood—after doing enough damage to cause you to continue bleeding to death. Those of stouter heart are less fortunate, as they continue to feel the pain of their vital fluid leaking out, ounce by ounce. There is a strong feeling of cold, as the life-giving blood takes the body's warmth with it, spilled out onto the ground.


 * Dehydration/starvation: Either of these methods is long and difficult. Death from starvation takes about a month and a half, and you slowly waste away during this time. Death from dehydration is quicker—about a week or two, but is even more excruciating. It must also be remembered that most food contains water, which only serves to lengthen the process. In such a weakened state, one will not be able to prevent force-feeding, which combined with the length of time involved, makes this one of the more easily 'rescued' methods.


 * Drowning: The farther out you swim, the more tired you become, and the longer time you have to change your mind. It is a terrible thing to decide that you want to live, only to realise that your limbs now lack the strength to carry you back to shore. While cold water is said to hasten the process—both in ensuring you are too tired to return, and in the actual killing—it also acts as a preservative (see Hypothermia below) where you can be revived even hours after apparent death. Also remember that there are many creatures with which you will be sharing the waters; more than a few will not wait for a taste, and none of them care for the difference between a suicide and any other struggling victim. When you see that fin cresting between the waves, you may suddenly decide that drowning wasn't really such a good idea after all.


 * Falling: There are three main points of uncertainty when employing a great height to try and kill oneself. The first is finding a suitable precipice. Even in the mountainous Heldanic Confederation, there may be enough of a slope to the drop so that you roll—breaking many bones and living through the experience—rather than a life-ending thud. The common fear of the height itself is perhaps the greatest deterrent. Even if a suitable location is found, once you actually look down the terror may prevent that final leap. Finally, there is the very real possibility that the fall will not kill you, regardless of the height. While people have fallen to their death from ground level—tripping over something and breaking the neck upon impact, for example—there are those who have fallen from tremendous heights and lived. In fact, the only things certain about falling are that it is scary, and if you live it is sure to hurt a great deal.


 * Hanging: A tried-and-true method of execution, but it still isn't a good choice for suicide. The biggest drawback is that you may screw up, and either not fall far enough—choking to death (see Asphyxiation above), or that you will fall so far as to break the rope—leaving you with either a long fall (and broken bones) or a relatively short and embarrassing one. An additional problem that can arise from too far a fall is that the rope may stop your head and neck, but not the rest of the body. In this case, your head, spine, and innards will be ripped messily from your torso, as the rest of your body succumbs to the inevitable pull of gravity. Thus hanging isn't necessarily the 'clean' death desired by many who seek this method. Even in an ideal drop—one where the neck is broken—often doesn't cause instant death. It can still take several excruciating minutes for the brain to die. These are guaranteed to be the longest 5-10 minutes you have ever experienced; after all, it's the entire rest of your life.


 * Hire a professional: Ah yes, if you want something done right… Unfortunately, those willing to kill another generally aren't known for their scruples. They are just as likely to take your money and run, as they are to actually kill you. Of course, you could possibly encounter a sadist who will kill you, but in a most unpleasant fashion. Then there is the difficulty of simply finding a potential assassin in the first place. Your search is bound to attract unwanted attention. A final drawback is that even a true professional must still employ some method to snuff out your existence, which will be at least as unpleasant as doing so yourself, if not much more so. Suicide is typically a solo endeavour. Enlisting the help of another is an additional complication. Trying to get a trusted friend to assist with ending your life is just as bad as hired help, if not worse. A true friend would not allow you to commit suicide, much less help.


 * Hypothermia: Often combined with Drowning (see above), as water can rapidly cool the body, and cold water is often the only cooling method available to most. Additionally, those wanting to help ensure that they drown may choose cold water because it will supposedly kill them faster, and the lower temperatures mean that they won't be questioned for heading towards the shore wearing many layers of easily waterlogged clothing. As the body has many automatic defences against cold, this is a long and unpleasant way to die, whether in or out of water. Uncontrolled shivering and biting cold are far from pleasant ways to spend ones last few hours. Additionally, the cold can keep the chemistry of life intact for a prolonged period, making it possible to be 'rescued' even hours after apparent death.


 * Immolation: This is burning to death. Need we say more?


 * Natural: This is something of a catch-all category. Included are such dubious methods as throwing yourself to (hopefully hungry) wild beasts, jumping into a volcano, and standing in a field waiting for lightning or a meteor to strike you. Needless to say, these various 'natural' methods leave much to be desired. There is one sure natural method, one guaranteed to kill every mortal man and woman: time. This death by natural causes, however, doesn't exactly count as suicide.


 * Poison: Even the deadliest toxin can be quite survivable. Poisons with no known antitoxin can still be treated. The length of time required for most toxins to take effect means that not only are your chances of 'rescue' higher, but you are alive that much longer to experience your own demise. Should you select chemical—or combination thereof—that seems to cause a blissful sleep preceding death, that usually instead means that the toxin causes total paralysis. That is, you get to add a feeling of complete helplessness to the experience of waiting to die. Healer lore contains many references to medical professionals who chose this method, yet survived. Of anyone, they should have known better.


 * In general: Life goes on without you. Regardless of your motivations, this much is always true. Someone you want to hurt back by your suicide probably still won't care once you're gone. Those who do care about you will never fully recover. If you only want to escape unbearable pain, you unleash a new batch of it into the world upon those you leave behind. Killing yourself because you are alone merely means that no one will show up for your funeral. Life does go on. Consider also those who now have to deal with your mess—often literally with many of the methods of suicide. Your belongings and affairs must be put in order. Your body must be cleaned and disposed of—as well as the stains of blood and excrement left surrounding your corpse.